Tuesday, August 28, 2018

Your Divorce Can Be a New Beginning

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Time For a Fresh Start
It might not seem like it at the time, but sometimes a divorce can be an incredibly good thing. I'm not saying this as someone who has actually been through a divorce; I'm saying this as a child of divorced parents. And as someone who is married to a child of divorced parents. We've seen our share of divorce, is what I'm saying, and it's not always such a bad thing. In many ways, divorce can be something of a fresh start-a new beginning.

That is, if it's done right. With all the emotions involved it shouldn't be terribly surprising that sometimes divorce gets messy, and I think that's where things really take a turn for the worse. Divorce can be messy if you aren't prepared for it-and expensive.
Why Do People Get Divorces?
But once the divorce is complete, it lets two people go their separate ways. It gives them a new beginning. So why do people get divorces? Let's look at some of the more common reasons.
1. Finances
Perhaps one of the primary stressors of any marriage is money. When two people cannot agree on the best ways to spend money or the best ways to save it, there can be a significant amount of strife. Sometimes this strife leads to resentment and festering anger; it can also be a representation of differing priorities in life.
2. Infidelity
When two people have an understanding that they should be faithful to one another, any kind of infidelity can erode the bedrock of trust in a marriage. When this happens, that trust and faith can be difficult-if not impossible-to repair. Many people, therefore, opt for that new beginning and begin divorce proceedings.
3. Time
It's strange. We tend to think of marriage as one of those things that binds people together forever. But time can change people; life can take you in new and interesting directions. And when this happens, sometimes you end up as two different people. This is especially true, I think, when you don't grow together.
4. Tragedy
I don't mean this in a Shakespearean sense, necessarily. Sometimes bad stuff happens. This could be something as tragic as losing a child to something a little more banal, like losing a job. And when you hit rough seas, it can tear at the fabric of the marriage (especially if that marriage has known nothing but good times). I don't mean that people give up easily; I mean that sometimes you see what your partner is like when times are tough, and you might not always like what you see.
5. Perspective
When you get married young, you're full of optimism and hope (heck, this is generally true of anyone that gets married). You have certain ideas about what your life will be like-about what the future will be like. And sometimes, as you age, those ideas begin to split. Maybe you have different ideas. That's okay. And it's okay to go your separate ways.
Getting What You Want Out of Life and Marriage
To be sure, I'm not advocating that everyone should get a divorce. Marriage can be an excellent thing, and I certainly don't know what I'd do without my partner in crime. But what I am saying is that staying in a miserable marriage, a stagnant marriage, an unhappy marriage-that doesn't seem to do a lot of good for anyone. Sometimes what you really need is a fresh start and a new beginning. For better or worse, divorce is something that can grant that.
Sometimes it doesn't take much. As mentioned above, sometimes it's the money that can be a problem. The cost of a good divorce attorney alone can eat into all kinds of financing (though most people who invest in a divorce attorney generally attest to their effectiveness and value). Again, if you're perfectly happy, it's not like you need to go get a divorce. I don't want to insinuate that divorce is, like, the new midlife crisis purchase of a car. It won't solve all your problems. But it will solve the problem of an unhappy marriage.

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