Friday, August 31, 2018

Chained by Fear of Love

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Love is such a powerful feeling. It has the ability to either inspire you or break you. It makes you feel wanted and helpless at the same time that you can't help but surrender into its traps.

Why are we so afraid of falling in love?
Simple. The euphoria we feel once we fall in love is just too good to be true that we become scared of what will happen once the emotions are gone. Not all couples are able to retain the feeling. It always takes two to tango but unfortunately, not everyone can keep up with the pace and you end up having a one-sided love. We are afraid to get too close because we fear that the other may not catch us when we fall. And it hurts like hell. The excruciating pain will be deeply seated in your heart. It will serve as a reminder of the agony you experienced when the other can't return the feeling.
But love is a feeling in your bones that you can't easily wave off. The thing is... it is a "risk" you have to take. After you have taken the chance, your sacrifice doesn't just end there. You will become selfless and give the person everything that will make them happy. You will invest a lot of emotions in the relationship that sometimes you even forget to leave something for yourself.
When someone starts to make you feel special, you immediately turn your defenses up to protect yourself from getting hurt. All because of fear, you are preventing yourself to be loved. Of course, "being in love" is not an easy road to take. But will you always let that fear cripple your chance to find happiness?
Vulnerability scares you.
Fearing the unknown is understandable. It prompts us to use our head and avoid stupid decisions brought by devoted emotions. You want to remain in your comfort zone where you are 100% sure you won't get your heart broken. Because for you, the more you care, the more you'll get hurt.
History might repeat itself.
No matter what you do, the hurt in previous relationships will continue to influence how you will perceive the people who get too close to you. Negative experiences make us wary of letting someone enter into our life. We steer away from attachments because it will bring back old feelings, hurt, and anger.
Love is often lopsided.
You like the person "too much" that you are afraid that the other may not be able to give you the same amount of love. You are not sure as to how long will their feeling for you will sustain. Emotions are something you have to let grow. Worrying about how one feel more than the other will only result to endless doubts.
Friends and family always have something to say.
You can never please everybody and that includes the people close to the person you love. To love means accepting the fact that even if his family doesn't like you, you have to continue understanding them. Because loving the person means loving the people around him as well.
You fear loss.
When the person starts to mean more to us, the more we fear of losing the person. We start to become aware of the fact that we are mere mortals and eventually, we will depart from this world. Just the thought of losing a beloved person to death is enough to make us fear to be in love. Too much attachment causes too much pain.
Love is always associated with pain. You just got to choose which one is worthy of that risk.

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