Monday, 15 April 2019

A date with a beautiful lady

Alamu and Aremu woke up one lovely morning, they yawned hungrily from their ten foot sick-foam bed, and the warms in their bellies gave good sound of warning of needed food because they slept last night without food. Two jobless and lazy fellows they were, who would not find a means to engage hands in meticulous profiting jobs to do.
They stepped their feet outside of their dilapidated village building to empty the urine stored in their bellies at the left corner of the building verandah. The castigating early morning sun that shone on them made them grunt and their unending hunger became more delirious.
“Aremu, is this how we are going to stay this morning without having nothing to eat?” Alamu asked, sitting down on a long wooden bench outside their building. “Alamu, what do we do? But, I thank I have an idea!” Alamu had responded sitting beside his devil like mind friend.
They had a consensus that they would have to survey different farmlands to see of what they could stole to feed bellies and to meet end means.
The duo journeyed with their feet to a nearby village farmland with a big sack carefully folded under Alamu’s armpit.
It was a smooth game for them, they had found themselves in an orange farmland, they had filled their sack with big and ripe oranges, and they filled and filled until the sack got to the brim and to their satisfaction. “We’ve done a good job, Alamu” Aremu intoned. “Yeah bro, but we need to move out before the owner of the farm or passersby behold us” Alamu advised. So, they began their journey until they had a consensus of retiring to a solemn place where they would share their loot. There was a cemetery not too far around, they got to the cemetery, it was locked from the outside, they were terrified and their thoughts failed them on what to do. Then, it came to Alamu’s consciousness, “let’s try the fence” they agreed and as they were climbing, their full sack of oranges let go of two pieces of oranges in the climbing process. They had to let that be, owing to the fact they still had a whole lot in the sack.
They sat on a tomb, which read “She died in peace, we leave her to rest in the b---m of the lord, Jesus is coming very soon” the two friend looked each other curiously in the eyes and shake off the worry and they began sharing their looted oranges. Alamu picked the first orange and began “see, Aremu, we would share this oranges simultaneously, One for me; one for you” and so they began sharing “One for me; one for you”
There was a certain drunk, having drunk to stupor was returning from his vigil of drinking expedition. Walking unconsciously through the cemetery. Just then, he began hearing thick unfamiliar voices, echoing like as if it had supernatural tones “One for me; one for you” then it came to his sub-conscious ‘he was in the middle of a cemetery’ no one told him before the accumulated dizziness of beer cleared from his reverie, he swiftly ran like a thief caught in the middle of stealing in a witch doctor cocoa plantation, panting seriously as he jumped the fence and ran to the only Church in the village; an old Anglican church. The pastor was on his knees facing the alter, gone far away in prayer. “Jesu, Oluwa, I bound every evil spirit out of this premises, ati ko wipe, Jesus is lord, jesu li Oluwa” The drunk interrupted the pastor from his evil spirit casting with speed as he ran into the church. “Pastor, pastor, I heard it, I heard it pastor; you need to come hear it” the pastor was confused and was in trepidation “what did you hear sir?” the pastor asked picking up his bible that fell off him when the drunk ran in. “pastor, as I was coming and passing by, unconsciously I was, because, I have to admit, I was drunk, I never knew what led me to pass the cemetery, pastor what I heard was terrible and terrific.” He intoned panting profusely “it is well, but tell me what you heard” “pastor, I heard God and the devil, yes, the two of them voices, rapture is about to take place, what am I even saying? It has begun already, they started from the dead ones in the cemetery, I heard God saying one for me, and one for you, they were really arguing seriously, with their voices echoing, pastor, if you hear, you would know it was truly voices of the supernaturals” the pastor was curious and confused, and unable to know what else to say or do. He then picked up his bible, a bell and a holy water in a table water bottle. “Let’s go sir, we must overcome the devil” ‘Satan we rebuke you’ was all the pastor was singing as they carefully picked up their steps to the cemetery
Alamu and Aremu were almost done with their sharing, the only way was to share it one after the other, for commercial purpose, Sagba market was three days away, there should really be some commodity to sell, and here it was, good oranges to sell and to swell pocket with. The pastor, got to the outside of the cemetery, the gate was locked as this man had said, then these mystery voices began piercing ears again, ‘one for me; one for you’ “pastor can you hear, how mysterious these voices were, and you could sense the urge of seriousness in the sounds, we must resist the devil” the pastor, convinced, brought out his bible and began opening psalm 91 to rebuke the Satan with trembling voice
The duo of Alamu and Aremu, having done with what they were sharing, satisfied of course, remembered there were other two oranges which had fallen when they were jumping the fence. Then Aremu said, “oh, remember, the other two that are outside, those ones, just right at the entrance too we share, One for me; one for you” the pastor and the drunk having heard this last part, looked each other in their faces and picked up an unending marathon and began shouting in the process… “Blood of Jesus, jesu! Jesu! Jesu!” “Pastor wait for me, pastor! Pastor!! Pastor!!! Wait… wait…

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